Sounds simple enough... until you start to take it seriously and really, really put some thought into it. If i could have the ideal life... if i could have anything i wanted... if i could do and be anything, anything at all... there is no possibility of failure... what in the world would all that be? I'm going to open my eyes in 5 seconds and find that i have been dreaming, and what i chose here will be the life i will live, for the rest of this life. 5... 4... Choose wisely. 3... 2...
When i put it like that, my palms started to get sweaty as i wrote down the possibilities. Is that it? Is that all you can think of?? No, want more. Don't be a chicken-shit, write it down! I have to admit, i was feeling a tad bit of pressure as i worked through the list.
They do offer some help by asking you to consider these questions before answering: "What do you love to do? What kind of environment do you love to be in? What kind of people do you love to be around? What excites you, turns you on, gets you charged up?"
And with that, they say "Close your eyes and picture your ideal life. What are you doing? Who are you with? Where are you? How do you feel? Now, make your list..."
And after several hours, this is what came out.
If my life were ideal, i would be
1. Hiking.
2. Speaking substantial amounts of Japanese daily.
3. Writing Buddhist & motivational books.
4. Working in a Zen Buddhist environment.
5. Working in a position that demands constant learning and growth.
6. Working in a leadership position.
7. Wealthy enough to payoff my sisters' mortgages and travel twice each year.
8. Have a close relationship with family (sisters and extended).
9. Have a close personal relationship.
10. Living within walking distance of a Zen center.
11. Living a physically active life.
12. Studying calligraphy.
When i first read this list after it came out onto paper, i wondered all the obvious thoughts: Where is working to save the world? Where is being Secretary General of the UN? Where is running my own multi-billion dollar company? Where is writing the book that will open everyone's eyes and stop all gang violence in the US? Where are all the great, grand, and lofty ideas?
And then i thought about doing it over again with those thoughts in mind. Was this all i really want in life? Heck, i might as well dream of being a shoe shine guy at the airport. Or park cars at the Lonely Planet restaurant for tips. But, in the end, i decided that if this is the list that came out, unpremeditated, then this is what i'll work with. (They tell you to take the test every six months, so i have another chance then.)
With that in mind, i pushed on with the next step, where they tell you to compare each of the items against all the others, one at a time, in order to come up with a list of the five top entries, ranked in order of importance. Don't assume right from the start that any item should be on the top of the list; compare every combination of two items, one combination at a time, until you whittle the list down to five. This was the hard part, as i'll explain later, but after about an hours work, this is what resulted.
1. Living a physically active life.
2. Writing Buddhist & motivational books.
3. Living within walking distance of a Zen center.
4. Speaking substantial amounts of Japanese daily.
5. Wealthy enough to payoff my sisters' mortgages and travel twice each year.
How could it take an hour to whittle 12 items down to five, you ask? Easy. It was a full hour, i'm sure, and here are some of the problems i faced. Would i choose working in a Buddhist environment? Or, speaking Japanese? I would dearly love both, but if i am only allowed one, and a choice has to be made, i must admit that if i choose to speak Japanese what does that do for me? A job at my ideal location certainly trumps that. Doesn't it? But, if i really had to choose, wouldn't speaking Japanese make me as happy as working at a Buddhist center? Argh...
I agonized over this for the longest time, then decided that part of the equation is starting from where i am now, which means, i have to consider the job i would be doing, because i refuse to go back to just any job. Then the question became, if i had to choose between speaking Japanese every day or menial labor or a simple clerical job, even if that was at Zen Mountain Monastery, which would it be. Put that way, Japanese won hands down, because i have already decided that i will not go back to the work force simply so i can say i have another job. The job, for me, is now a major part of how i will make employment decisions from now on. But this comparison alone took 10 minutes to figure out.
How about speaking Japanese or hiking? That's an impossible choice. Then again, if i chose Japanese and that meant never getting to hike again, of course i'd choose the hiking. But, listen, you can't go hiking every day, and you can speak Japanese every day, and i've already done my share of hiking in my life so couldn't i give that up? No way! Sure. No. Of course. Remember, you have to choose one of the two.
Then i wondered about all of the items involving working, and it became apparent, that if this is my ideal life i was considering, then writing books would kick all the 'working' items straight down to the bottom of the list. And, what can i say... i have been a loner for over 55 years, so it's not at all surprising, in hindsight, that the relationship items didn't make the cut. I really thought they might for a while, but..... (sheepish grin).
Looking at the list of five after-the-fact, i can very easily see that they do, surprisingly, seem pretty accurate. If i had all five of those in my life right now, i'd be telling everyone i met that i was living in a dream world. It takes no effort at all to get passionate about this set of five life conditions.
I have no idea at this point how it is going to be possible to convert my current life into that life, especially since there is no Zen center in Lockport and i'm not moving!, but i haven't worked through the next chapter of the book yet either. And as 'they' say, everything in its own time.
Once, between two breaths,
Hope sprang free to look for more.
Life's simplicities.
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