Scientific Proof Of God's Existence

God exists and we may now be able to prove it scientifically! This is no joke, a few of the esteemed physicists doing research at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN claim to have found the proof. God exists, and she is mightily upset that we humans are overstepping our bounds.

Here's the article from the New York Times.

Now, having studied a little physics in my past, i want to extrapolate this line of reasoning a little more and, admittedly going out on a limb, offer another line of reasoning that proves the same thing — God's out there, and she's pissed.

Almost everyone in the world with an internet connection knows that T-Mobile and Microsoft lost, completely and irrevocably (until it was found again), all of the personal data for users of the Sidekick smartphone. The problem was that all of that personal data was stored "in the cloud," i.e., on servers scattered out on the internet, on the "web," and not locally on the user's computer.

I'm suggesting that this wasn't an accident but an act of God.

It seems that everyone in the world is in a race to put their data "in the cloud," that nebulous body of servers scattered around the world, coming and going like clouds, as chains of servers are attracted to each other forming data centers soaking up bits and bites "here" and depositing them "there," in a never ending cycle of data evaporation and condensation.

My scientific prediction, which could take years to prove and verify (as did many of Einstein's theories i'll remind you!), is that these same "clouds" will never work as predicted and hoped. As more and more data is moved from small, human-sized clusters of servers to massive, distributed, god-sized clusters of clouds, God is going to feel threatened and her anger will increase even more than it is now.

In order to prevent us from stepping too far and, possibly, begin to feel that we could rival God's consciousness with our clouds, she will reach into the past (for her; for us it is still the present), wave her hands, chant "Damini, Domino, Abracadabra" a couple of times and, poof, the data will disappear. To cover her tracks, she'll put the blame on Microsoft most of the time, since they're easy to blame anyhow, with occasional nods towards Google. Although, for the next eight years she could probably get away with blaming the president of the US for being too wimpy and refusing to fight to protect the rights, dignity, moral integrity, and freedom of US bits and bites. I think she could get away with that.... there's certainly a lot of Americans who would fall for it; especially if Glen and Rush pick up on the story...

So, there you go, you can say you heard it here first: Clouds will never work to expectations, because God doesn't want them to, and that proves beyond any doubt that she does exist.

(I better add more minutes to my mobile phone so when the Nobel committee calls i won't miss the call. But then again, what if it's God, and she has problems with this post..... Does anyone know what her caller id looks like so i can screen that call????)