Fringe
You wreck my shop and my house and now my heart,
but how can I run from what gives me life?
I'm weary of personal worrying, in love
with the art of madness! Tear open my shame
and show the mystery. How much longer
do I have to fret with self-restraint and fear?
Friends, this is how it is: we are fringe
sewn inside the lining of a robe. Soon
we'll be loosened, the binding threads torn
out. The beloved is a lion. We're
the lame deer in his paws. Consider
what choices we have!
Rumi: The Book of Love
Translated by Coleman Barks
You wreck my shop and my house...
Everything in my life was in its rightful place. Everything followed established order. Long established order. My employees followed my commands. I knew, without doubt, what commands to give. The entire family understood and accepted my rules, the house was orderly and peaceful. My life was predictable.
And then you, YOU, showed up, from where and for what reason i know not! You stuck your nose in my life, MY life, and threw everything out of balance. I could no longer look down on anyone, i could no longer be unjust, i could no longer show preferences and bias. No, you wrecked my shop and my house. I no longer know how to act, what to do. The old rules have been obliterated! You have wrecked everything!!
and now my heart...
And now you've even broken through my last defenses and found your way into my heart. It used to be so easy to love who i wanted and hate those that deserved it. It used to be so easy to care when it benefited me and turn a cold shoulder when appropriate. It was so easy to function with my heart closed and locked. Now what? Tell me! Now what do i do with this heart broken open to everybody's feelings and concerns? Now what??? I can't stand this turmoil.
It is so hard to bear... so, so hard.
but how can I run from what gives me life?
No, i don't have the strength to run. How could i run anyway? You'd be with me every minute of every day even if i did. How can i run from what gives me life, nourishes me, feeds me that daily elixir called breath, called thoughts, called love. How can i run from what i am? I can't run, i realize that now. It's too late, you've shown me who i am.
I'm weary of personal worrying, in love with the art of madness!
Yes, it's too late to run. And in any case, i'm too tired. Worry and disquiet used to keep me up at night — was i going to get this, was i going to lose that, was so and so going to like me, was so and so going to hate me, would they buy, would the kids grow up well? I never let them show, but the vexations and distractions were overwhelming.
You have shown me the art of madness, and you are right, it is an art. Wild enthusiasm and excitement, even when they seem to border on foolishness, have opened me to new vistas, new feelings i have never experienced before. I love this art: laughing for no reason, joyously singing just to make people smile, dancing barefoot in the park in mid-winter, rolling down the hill with the kids for no reason other than it's downhill. Yes, some may say that living life by the rules of this art seems like madness, but i see that it is Life. Real life. Life worth living.
Tear open my shame and show the mystery. How much longer do I have to fret with self-restraint and fear?
I surrender. I no longer wish to fight. I'm in love with this art and am painfully aware, sadly aware, of my guilt, the inadequate way i have lived my life. Take this shame from me. Please. Tear open my heart and release me.
Friends, this is how it is: we are fringe sewn inside the lining of a robe. Soon we'll be loosened, the binding threads torn out.
My friends, this is how it is. I have been granted a glimpse behind the curtain and the wizard isn't who we thought he was.
We are like a bright and glorious fringe; colorful and with countless dazzling tassels capable of dancing in the wind. Yet somehow, we let ourselves get sewn inside the lining of the robe, hidden, instead of outside where we can share in the grandeur of the world.
But the time has come to open our eyes. The time has come when what binds us will be released. Stop fighting. Stop trying to control. Open your hearts and the loosening will take place. Friends, you have my word.
The beloved is a lion. We're the lame deer in his paws.
We are no more than lame deer. We have no power against the lion. We have no ability to demand what we want. Whether we live or die is not our choice. What the lion wills, the lion does. We are at the lion's mercy.
Consider what choices we have!
But don't ever think that we have no choices. Never. We have unlimited choices, unlimited ways we can act, react, respond, think, and do. Our potential is unlimited even when we know we are in his paws and at his mercy.
Choose! Act! Make a choice! Now! What will you do? Make a decision! It is your birthright to do so. NOW! What will you do?
I'd start by reaching up and licking his nose.
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