It seems that a good many people see 'awakening,' or 'enlightenment,' or 'liberation,' or 'the good life,' or 'happiness,' or whatever level of the search you are aiming towards, as a port where you will finally arrive; a strong and safe dock you will pull into once you successfully manage the storms and choppy waters. But it's not like that and i don't understand why that's not more obvious. The true life, the value we get from it, is found on the trip down the river or over the sea. The value is in the experiences we have, the people we meet, the food we taste, the music we listen to, the love we find, the challenges we encounter and overcome, the peace we find amidst the chaos, as we travel down the river.
We've all heard that old adage that says you can't get to any destination unless you are willing to leave the safety of the port you currently hide in. I think that's true, but only to a point. This plays right to the fallacy of comparing a successful life, and your ultimate destination, to simply 'another' port; the port you have labeled as your destination. If you believe that, you've still missed the point. What you're really searching for, the 'success,' is found between the two ports. Mary Oliver gets that.
So along those lines, i am stealing and reposting the below from the online journal on Dave's Shikoku Henro web site. He wrote it as he was getting ready to leave for Shikoku in 2008 to walk the Kagawa Prefecture section of the henro trail.
You'll notice that what Mary finds so marvelous isn't anything static; another beautiful sunrise, another glorious day, or simply the beautiful sun warming our lives. What she sees as so wonderful is the continued movement, the continued change, the ever ongoing process of renewal and how that ongoing renewal brings us life.
As i reread the poem today, two and a half years later, i wonder. Mary asks,
Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful
and then goes on to talk about the natural, unaffected beauty of the sun setting and rising. But what do other people think about as they hear those words? What do others consider so amazingly wonderful that they find themselves asking, "have you ever seen...?"
-----From Dave's 2008 Journal-----
The Sun
Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful
than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon
and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea,
and is gone—
and how it slides again
out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower
streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance—
and have you ever felt for anything
such wild love—
do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure
that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you
as you stand there,
empty-handed—
or have you too
turned from this world—
or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?
Mary Oliver
New and Selected Poems; Volume One
I think you can really, truly, only understand this poem (i mean, really grok it, to use the slang) if you slow down, and accept life on its terms, and stop trying to make it bend to your desires. If you are on the trail and your priority is simply to crank out 40+ km (25+ mi) each day so you can finish in 40 days, then you will miss it. I'd say 'then you won't see it,' but there is nothing to see — just something to experience.
"Have you ever seen anything in your life more wonderful than the way the sun, every evening, relaxed and easy, floats toward the horizon..." There are no thoughts of "I hope i'm setting on time." "Now how many seconds, exactly, am i supposed to set earlier than yesterday?" "God, i hope i'm pretty enough for those that are watching." "I am so tired of this shit. Same thing day after day after day. Why bother anymore. I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. It's driving me nuts." "Why do i have to do the rising and setting every day? Let someone else do it for awhile."
Mary could just as easily have asked 'Have you ever seen anything in your life more wonderful than the way the lilies open when the sun rises above the horizon in the morning?' Or, 'Have you ever seen anything in your life more wonderful than the way you slowly come to life each time you wake up?' Or, 'Have you ever seen anything in your life more wonderful than the way a child's eyes light up and a smile spreads from ear to ear when you say I Love You?'
Life is only complicated when we let our thoughts get in the way. When we let this delusional mind we call our friend make all the decisions. Walking the henro trail can very much be like the sun in Mary's poem. When the alarm goes off you get up. After breakfast you hit the trail. You walk until evening. You take a bath. You eat dinner. You go to bed. Then you get up and do it again. Why? Because that's what henro do. That's their purpose.
But that's not the whole story. The power comes from what the henro does while he/she is up. In between the rising and setting. It's in doing your utmost to warm each and every person's heart that you see. It's in acknowledging everyone, with no discrimination, in acknowledging every situation, with no preferences. It's in illuminating the dark spots in your life and seeing all of life from a larger, above everything, viewpoint instead of from the narrow and corrupt viewpoint of only what's in your head. When a henro walks the trail with this attitude, life is different. As i quoted Dōgen above, 'Essentially, our ceaseless practice fills heaven and earth and influences everything with its virtue. Although we may be unaware of it, it still occurs.' Ceaseless practice doesn't simply mean the rituals that a henro follows at the temples. Ceaseless practice doesn't simply mean that plus walking. It means the ceaseless breaths, the countless footsteps, eating when you're hungry, peeing when your bladder is full, bowing when bowed to, accepting when settai is offered, and on and on. Ceaseless practice is about being alive, about living, not about doing.
"Do you think there is anywhere, in any language, a word billowing enough for the pleasure that fills you, as the sun reaches out, as it warms you as you stand there, empty-handed..." Absolutely not! And Mary knows it. This was obviously a rhetorical question. There is no word in any language that can accurately describe reality; that can tell you all there is to experience in any situation. Words can billow, they can surge here and there, they can swell until they fill the skies, they can swoop and swirl — but they will always be insufficient. The only way to see reality is to stop, relax, and be. When you are reality, it's right there for the taking.
And that's how you approach walking the henro trail. You don't think about it. You don't analyze it. You don't fret, worry, or get anxious about it. You walk it, you accept it, you live it. You don't worry about how to describe it, you just do it.
"or have you too turned from this world — or have you too gone crazy for power, for things?"
I absolutely hate to finish such a beautiful poem with such harsh words, but Mary does it intentionally. This last sentence should shock you as much as if you had finally gotten that puppy you had wanted for years, gotten it home, and having it run out in the street and get run over by a truck. You should be stuck silent. Brought to tears. Lost. Is it true? Is it possible? Even after you know better, have you turned from this world and gone crazy for power? For things? Is that all life means to you any more? Power and things? I've got more than you, so there! I don't have anything and that's not fair! Gimme, gimme, gimme. Accumulate, accumulate, accumulate. Let it not be true. Please say life means more than that and this doesn't apply to you.
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