A man was knocking on his son's door one morning, trying to wake him up and calling to him again and again, but his son just didn't seem to want to wake up. "You have to go to school today. Wake up!" the man shouted.
"But i don't want to go to school," said the sleepy voice inside.
"Why not?" his father retorted.
"For three reasons," replied the son. "First, because it's dull. Second, the kids tease me. And third, I hate school."
His father responded, "I have three reasons you must go. First because it is your duty. Second, because you are forty years old. And third, because you're the headmaster!"
After reading that, i guess most people will smile and then think something along the lines of 'there comes a point in everyone's life where you have to grow up and accept your responsibilities.' After i stopped laughing, i, on the other hand, immediately said to myself that there comes a point in everyone's life where you need to stop and take a long, quiet, and introspective break in the shade of a tree on the side of your path. Where you quietly sit and and evaluate the trail you have been walking. Is it the trail you thought it would be? Has it been rocky and rubble strewn when you had expected a grassy glade? Has it been a series of climbs and descents when you expected it to be flat or a slow steady rise? Does it seem to be heading towards the local garbage dump when you though it was heading towards the botanical gardens? Or maybe you made the right choice and the path has been going exactly where you thought it would when you chose it?
The headmaster above is obviously on the wrong path. Did he choose it because that's what his father wanted? Did he choose it because that was the easy way out? Did he not even choose it, and just, somehow and in someway, find himself walking a path that ended up leading to that position? In any case, it's obvious that the time has come for him to find that shade tree and take a break while reevaluating what he is doing. As one year ends and another begins, i'm going to join him. I'm going to sit and think and look down that part of the path i've already walked and then see what i might be able to discern about the path that still lies ahead.
Robert Frost, in his famous poem The Road Not Taken, talks about choosing your path. Dōgen does as well, in indirect ways, in his Shōbōgenzō. Both point to the fact that the correct path isn't chosen merely by looking at its outward appearances, the ease involved in walking it, or at society's reaction when you make your choice. Yet, you do have to understand some of the external factors, like, will this path support the lifestyle i want, will this path allow the relationships i hope for, will this path allow the material benefits i want to have? You have to be clear on what you want first; you have to understand what kind of path you want to walk. Are you a mountain person? A beach person? A city person? Are you a loner or do you need other people around? These understandings are important before you can even head to the trail head. And that's where your butt comes into play.
Choosing what's important to you is a decision that is best made from a point deep within yourself. It's an investigation that needs to take place at the core of who you are — and the only way to get to that place is by sitting quietly, finding those gaps between your thoughts, and, with good timing, jumping into the silence between two of them as they go past. Then, just sit and watch from that still, silent center. And watch. Until the answers start to appear. Then, don't argue, don't debate, don't rationalize, don't bargain, don't grieve, and don't talk back. Just listen.
Only when you understand what type of path is for you can you set out to find one that matches those requirements.
So, now you know what i plan to do with myself as a new year begins. I'm going on a hunting expedition. Sounds exciting, doesn't it.
A happy new year to all. May all your dreams come true in 2009.
