Anticipation

Unfolding daily  

Walking into your true self  

OHenro michi

PayPal In The Afterlife

I sent some money to someone through PayPal this morning, and on the summary page after the transaction was complete noticed this message:

“The recipient has a lifetime limit to send, spend or withdraw. Upon reaching this limit, the recipient must take certain actions to lift the limit.”

PayPal’s computers must know more about the afterlife or rebirth than I do to be so absolutely certain that they need to clarify this on their web site. Am i allowed to claim Dave’s left-over money in my next life, no matter who I might be? And if i can, what would those "certain actions" entail???

Book Review: Fighting Monks & Burning Mountains

"Fighting Monks and Burning Mountains"
Paul Barach

Paul sent me a copy of his book so long ago that by now he's probably completely forgotten that i promised to read it and write a review. But read it i did, and let me tell you, it was a delight and pleasure. Paul has written a wonderful accounting of his 2010 walk around Shikoku's henro trail. Before i actually review anything, though, let me make two points that really have no bearing on the actual content itself:
1) As you will see as you read the book, walking in summer can be an absolutely miserable experience. Yes, i understand that some people have no choice—it's either walk in summer or don't walk at all—but if there is any way around it, any way at all, don't choose summer to do your walk. And if it is necessary, carry LOTS of water at all times.

2) At one point in the book, Paul writes: "Along the wide canal leading from T31, coruscations of black dragonflies claim the warming air above me." 'Coruscations?' Who uses that word? Who knows what it means without looking it up, like i had to do? If Paul and i ever meet, he's going to have to use that word in a completely different sentence and a completely different context to prove to me he really uses it himself in normal conversations. :-)

OK, now that that's off my chest, on to the actual content of his book. First of all, i found this to be a delightful book. I loved it. While i have never nojuku'ed (slept outdoors every night of the walk instead of staying in paid lodging) when on the henro trail, i can't imagine being surprised by any unforeseen circumstances if i choose to do so sometime in the future. Paul has painted a very clear picture of what the experience is like, pointing out the good and the bad experiences. Or, to say that a little better, pointing out the happy and the not so happy, or even slightly painful, experiences...and the majority of tedious ones in between.

While i always tell people that every henro will have their own unique experience while on the trail, that no two people can ever have identical experiences, nojuku'ing is on a different level, a completely different experience from staying in paid lodging every night. If you plan to nojuku, i'd say this is the book to read. There's not a subject that isn't addressed, from lodging to food, to bathrooms, to language, to...you name it.

Nojuku'ing aside, one of the common threads i hear about from a lot of walking henro is dealing with boredom and long solitary days spent walking on the side of one road or another. We all deal with this issue in different ways, and it seems that those that are affected the least by boredom are those who can live in the moment, those who are able to stay focused on where you are, what is around you, what you are experiencing, each step of the way. Those who can't, whose minds wander with each step to the past or future, to where they could be or what they could be doing if they weren't walking the trail, are the one's who seem to suffer the most.

Paul honestly depicts, throughout the book, his constant struggle with boredom and the hard work of walking in summer; the constant tug between two opposites: trying to forget he's still there, on the side of yet another road, in miserable conditions, and trying to focus on being there, on that road, focusing on present moment experiences and not on going home. As he enters Ehime Prefecture, he says:

“While fighting to be in the moment, I must also accept that while I’m hot, tired, and enduring another drudging hour of nothing on a concrete ribbon, the moment kind sucks.”

And in a beautiful moment he goes on to say:

“And over the hours of this balancing act, I finally come to peace with it. The battle for focus through the dulling monotony. Enduring the sharp strike of the road into my soles. The days laboring up mountains as my legs strain to birth new muscles. These are my offerings to the next temple. Compared to such alms, my osamefuda, my coins, and my chanted prayers come cheap.”

Beautiful. Something we all need to memorize and keep in mind as we walk the trail.

I, personally, don't deal with these issues when i'm walking the trail, but wonder if part of the reason is that, as Paul makes clear, nojuku'ing entails a lot of long, long days. Staying in paid lodging always means a relatively early stop each night because that's what's expected by the lodging owners. When you nojuku, though, each and every night you have to figure out where you are going to sleep, and that usually means finding somewhere off the trail, off the road you've been walking all day long. And sometimes, getting there means you have to walk well past sunset, and then get up at the crack of dawn because the locals are getting up and starting their day, ignoring the fact that you are in your tent trying to sleep.

Another issue that some walking henro have to deal with is solitude and Paul does a very good job of describing, without actually using specific words, how lonely this walk can be at times. While the people on Shikoku definitely watch out for walking henro, and go out of their way to offer help when it appears a henro needs it, the vast majority of a walker's time is spent alone.

There may be people all around you as you walk throughout the day, but all those people are either in their cars, on public transportation, or simply going about their lives. They usually don’t stop you just to chat unless you initiate the conversation. This means that a walking henro can go days without actually having a conversation with another person, especially if you don’t speak Japanese very well.

At one point in the book, Paul stumbles across someone who speaks English and had the time to just sit and talk with him. The great pleasure this brought him is evident, and at one point in his journey, he comments:

“Eyes shut, I mumble thanks to Monju for granting my prayers today for a break. After a free meal, a hot shower, some conversation, and a small glimpse of a deeper connection, I’m ready to continue on.”

A couple of other things that Paul gives a good glimpse of as he describes his walk:
1) We walkers receive a lot of settai, from a lot of people. Gifts of food, money, lodging, and a lot more. This generosity can seem overwhelming at first, but over time you learn to accept it as you also learn that giving back is part of the exchange; whether that return gift is an osamefuda, a smile, a laugh, or just hands in gassho and a small bow.

2) Paul had to deal with medical issues. You will read the details in the book so i won’t go into that, but it is something all walkers have to think about. Either bring a little extra money to deal with this unwanted and unexpected situation if it occurs, or be sure to have medical insurance. Especially if you walk in summer where heat exhaustion is a very, very real possibility.

As an aside, to give you an idea of just how brave Paul is during his walk, how many of us have the courage to get in a fight with a monk? Not an argument, a real fistfight. Not even a fistfight, a martial arts fight, with fists and feet flying everywhere. Is it even legal to fight a monk? Isn’t that bad for your karma or something?

While i truly loved Paul’s comments on his efforts being his offering to the temples, one of the best things Paul wrote, in my opinion, was about his realization that “It' not strength that's required, but dedication.” This is not a walk in the park; it's hard work and strength alone will only take you so far. You can’t get any closer to my view of what it takes to make it around the trail than these two ideas: offering your efforts and understanding that this is a mental walk more than a physical walk.

Paul has a great sense of humor. And it shines brightly throughout the book. I highly recommend it and think it is well worth reading by anyone thinking of walking the henro trail. Especially if you are going to nokjuku in summer months (even though that’s a bad idea).

Relinquishing What's Not Yours

From Anthony de Mello's book Song of The Bird:

The Diamond
When the sannyasi reached the outskirts of the village and settled under a tree for the night, a villager came running up to him and said, "The stone! The stone! Give me the precious stone!"

"What stone?" asked the sannyasi.

"Last night Lord Shiva told me in a dream that if I went to the outskirts of the village at dusk a sannyasi would give me a stone that would make me rich forever."

The sannyasi rummaged in his sack and, pulling out a stone, he said, "He probably meant this one. I found it in the forest yesterday. Here, it’s yours if you want it."

The man gazed at the stone in wonder. It was the largest diamond in the world — the size of a man’s head. All night he tossed about in bed. At the break of day he woke the sannyasi and said, "Give me the wealth that makes it possible for you to give this stone away."

Found myself today holding onto the stone, and although it was only worth a little less than $50, it took me the entire day before i could open my hand and relinquish it. Why? I'm actually shocked, and a little saddened. While certainly not a sanyasi, i thought i lived to higher standards than this. I, too, want the wealth, not the stone.

Those Goofy Buddhist Lists

First off, a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to all. Hope everyone enjoyed time with family and friends and that Santa's problems delivering everyone's gifts didn't hit your home.

Secondly, wishing everyone a wonderful new year. Wishing all peace, happiness, and fulfillment.

Lastly, i have been reading through the first volume of Gateway To Knowledge, by Jamgon Mipham Rinpoche today. It's a primer on the basics of Buddhism, much like What The Buddha Taught by Walpola Rahula, but written from the Tibetan viewpoint, which doesn't change a lot.

Anyway, as the Buddhist like to do, especially (it seems to me) the Tibetans, the book is list after list after list. And in the chapter on the Skandhas, the five aggregates, we find the lists associated with the skandha of perception. There seem to be six types of perception, and leaving out the details, those are perceptions with characteristics, perceptions without characteristics, lesser perceptions, vast perceptions, immeasurable perceptions, and .....

Number six: "The perception of nothing whatsoever causes the sphere of nothing whatsoever to be perceived."

There you go. If you were ever in doubt of how on earth, or in any of the three realms, it was possible to perceive the sphere of nothing whatsoever, the path has been laid out here. Granted it may take years of effort and hours upon hours on your zafu, but all that is required is the perception of nothing whatsoever.

Glad i got that straight. :-) Now how do i convince people to take Buddhism as a serious path with things like that on the list?

Happy New Year.

Just To Know You

Snatam Kaur & Peter Kater
From their Heart of The Universe album

Given her Sikh upbringing, i'm certain we look at this from different angles, but i'd like to believe that she'd allow my interpretation. This nicely describes my view from high on top of my zafu. Not always, but it's a view.

"Just to know you, just to live inside your grace." When Dave steps out of the way and you get occasional glimpses around his fat head, this is the immediate, unspoken, thought that appears when that immeasurable immensity comes into view. Ah, there you are. Thank you. Do you know how much i've missed you? Do you know how happy i can get just knowing that for reasons unknown we were able to meet? Just to live inside your grace, with whatever you offer, whatever comes. Thank you for being.

"Just to feel you in my heart, at this time, in this place." Dave still has occasional shitty, black days, but not all that often. Can't lie about that, but when he moves out of the way, and a clear view is had .... in that time, in that place...

In that time, in that place on a zafu. In that time, in that place standing there filling up the car with gas. In that time, in that place standing in the grocery store checkout line. In that time, in that place sitting in the car at a red light. In that time, in that place putting clothes in the washer. In that time, in that place standing there watching someone tell you completely unreasonable things at work. In every time. In every place. Take a breath and feel, deep in your heart, that Life that animates your body. Feel who you really are. Who we all are. Take a breath. Forget your version of Dave and be who you are. Take a second, or more, to really appreciate, really thank Life for this chance to be here.

"There is peace, in every breath, as my mind dwells on your name." In every breath. Until the view clears even more, and then even the breath itself is gone. And then,... there is peace. No more. No less. Just peace. Not here. Not there. Not for me. Not for us. Just peace.

"Finding peace, peace within." How do we find peace in the world? Right here. Peace within. If you find it, it will affect you. It will change your life. It will change your outlook. It will affect your relationship with the world. Peace begins within.

"Treasure of bliss never end." With a promise like that, why don't more people make the effort?

Hope all had a Happy Thanksgiving.

When God's Stuck In Your Front Door

There's this story about a farmer who decides to retire and take up the spiritual life. After turning everything over to others and cutting himself free, he goes to the master at his local temple. The master tells him that to start he needs to learn to meditate and sends him off to a small meditation hut on the nearby mountain.

When he asks how to meditate, the master tells him to meditate on God. Fill his mind with nothing but God. Let go of every thought and have nothing but God in his mind. Become God. Not having a clue how to do that, but trusting his master, the farmer heads off to the hut to begin his practice.

A few weeks later the farmer comes back to the temple and tells the master that it is hopeless. No matter how hard he tries he just can not fill his mind with God. Too many other things stop him. He just doesn't see how to do it.

The master thinks for a minute and asks the farmer what thoughts keep interrupting him. To which the farmer tells him of the water buffalo that he had left on the farm when he left. The water buffalo that had been his companion and friend for more years than he can even remember. The water buffalo that had patiently listened to all of his problems and all of his happiness in life. The water buffalo that had helped him in the fields every day of the year, year in and year out. The water buffalo that had made life livable for him.

Nodding his head, the master told him that the solution to his problems is at hand. Go back to the hut, he told the farmer, and meditate on your water buffalo. Fill your mind with nothing but the buffalo, he told him. Let go of every thought and have nothing but your water buffalo in your mind. Become your water buffalo. And with that, the farmer returned to his hut to try again.

A month later, when the farmer hadn't returned, the master climbed the mountain to check on him. Arriving at the hut, he knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again. No answer. He looked in the window and could see the farmer sitting there, on his zafu in the middle of the room so he went back to the door and knocked again. No answer.

Finally he pounded on the door and yelled, "Open the door and come out and greet your teacher!"

At which time he heard a mooing sound and then the farmer saying, "I would like to master, really, i would, but my horns won't fit through the door."

Love that story. To help you get an idea of what the farmer saw, find your cushion, put it right in the middle of the floor, and when your mind has calmed down, then hit play of this video. Don't think of anything. Be completely still, completely open, and just let the sound wash through you.

That was the sound of God though the ears of a human. For what us humans sound like through the ears of God, sit down again, get calm, completely still, completely open, and then hit play on this video.

And don't blame me if you can't get through your front door after listening to these for a half hour or so. :-)